Gulgappi Tales

Gulgappi is a close friend.I was all in awe of Gulgappis profile when I heard about him for the first time.He had topped most exams that he had written in his life and is a gold medalist from a reputed institution .As soon as Gulgappi opened his mouth all my awe evaporated into thin air due to some super secret reasons.

Gulgappi who was a simpleton changed soon and became a street smart kaneeme .Once we went to meet a North Indian Professor and as soon as Professor opened his door Gulgappi bend down and touched his feet . I don't know how Gulgappi suddenly became aware of a custom which symbolized respect for elders. Whatever! Gulgappi scored A+ in the paper of that professor and since I didn't touch the feet I could get only an A-.There are many Gulgappi tales like this in B School.

Gulgappi got placed in a prestigious Management Consulting firm and then we lost touch.One day I met Gulgappi accidentally at Hyderabad and Gulgappi invited me for his marriage .He showed me the photo of a good looking girl .Gulgappi got a very good deal for his high flying consulting job and few academic gold medals and the B School gossip was that dowry was in eight digits which was usually followed by a debate on whether dowry is an archaic custom. Most people who engage in such kind of debates like Gulgappi agree unanimously that dowry is a bad practice but forgets what they said few months before their marriage.


But Gulgappi screwed up big time.

Gulgappi was from a middle class family and like all middle class families had been taught to live with dignity amidst all financial and other constraints . His wife was from a rich and affluent family and like all affluent families searched for prestige in whatever they did . For them Gulgappi's profile , MBA degree and gold medals were more valuable than Gulgappi as a person. If you see matrimonial ads in Times of India in Delhi then Big Fat Mallu wedding is nothing .


Gulgappi is from a North Indian town and had not seen his mother questioning his father in his life .Gulgappi's s wife was of a totally different mould and offered her suggestions to Gulgappi and had her own opinions.She is also from a top institution and wanted to pursue her own career .Quite Understandable , she would have struggled equally hard like Gulgappi to get good qualifications. There was no problem for Gulgappi before marriage and he wanted his wife to be exactly like that - independent , modern etc. But now he thinks this is affecting his family life as differences are surfacing.To make it short their wavelengths as well as frequencies did not match.


Gulgappi and his wife were hi-flying consultants and usually traveled abroad as a part of their work. Gulgappi works in Singapore and his wife works in Dubai. Both of them fly to India in weekends that too when they were not busy with work and met for some time. From outside everything looked fine but the friend circle was abuzz with lot of gossips including some very inquisitive queries on when they had " seks " ?.

Poor Gulgu! Last time I met him he was really depressed . He didn't know where he went wrong . He had struggled hard all his life , went to top institutions , has a beautiful wife , has loads of money. All are the social parameters of successful life. Gulgappi wants his wife to quit job or get a transfer to Singapore . His wife does not want it as this project will give a huge boost to her career and the project will go on for at least two years. Gulgu doesn't want to shift either because he is doing so well in Singapore. Gulgu is actually a nice chap and not a proper kaneeme his wife also seems to be a nice gal with common sense.


There are some MBA Case studies where everything seems Ok with an organization but you can see some odd symptoms of failure here and there . These symptoms slowly grows to big problems and finally things go haywire.

Can someone help Gulgu?

MBA -Max Shady Arbit Fundaes

Went to judge this B School competition in a leading B school and had a chance to see presentations by teams from Indian Institute of Managements and other B Schools.It was a business Plan competition and the fellow judges were the Global Delivery Heads of two prominent Indian IT Companies and a greying Professor .I was slightly self conscious since I was the only "bacha" in the judging panel.When I used to take part in these competitions some time back,it was always a pleasure to kick the butt of other B Schools but was equally painful to get the kick back when we lost to others. Judging seemed to be an easier activity than participating and may be organisers could have improved the articulation of presentations by giving the judging critera to participants in the initial stage itself.It was surprising that all the judges arrived at a consenus in results . Some teams had real good presentations with insights on the implementation part as well.Most of them were arguing that "The fluttering of the wings of the butterlies caused enough wind to cause a rainfall" making me wonder how MBA's are able to pluck gas from thin air to fill the vaccum and this Advertisement from fedex tells me that so many people think so.

The corporate or rather MBA way of speaking is characterized by a faux-sophistication that makes the speaker feel powerful and dynamic when he actually has no influence on anything consequential. Sometimes I feel that somebody should do a study on the cultural implications of MBA jargon -- a combination of vapid slogans (e.g., "value creation" , "Opportunity Leverage","CCDV (Creating Communicating & Delivering Value) " and insidious euphemisms like " strategy " , "solutions" , "downsizing" , "right sizing " , "leveraging" ) that appears so prominently in PowerPoint presentations and conference calls happening in corporate offices everywhere.

Some of the things that were used after my MBA and the results were .

1.Telling my eX that Dating is test marketing and marriage is an acquisition. (She broke up and went for a sane guy)

2.Made some Suggestions to my sweet mother about the structural inefficiencies in the processes in Kitchen Set Up (She complained to my father that I am not makng any sense to her after my MBA and made me drink Ladies Finger Soup to make her son sane. Arrrrrgh...)

3.Told my Manager that there are no problems in work , just issues and improvement opportunities. (He asked me to do a six sigma implementation )


4.Explained to my Parents the benefits of leveraging with friends as opposed to renting the apartment, which is a sunk cost anyway (and father gave me that funny look ; which said that You were all right son two years back? )

5.Urged my darling Grand Mother to choose her favorite Pickle Brand as a rational choice rather than emotional choice (She stopped being a darling for sometime by saying her favorite Achar is not good for the health of young people)

6.Remarked to my brother that my favorite posters are those stock market charts in Wall Street Journal and Financial Times. (He claimed ownership for the Sexy poster of Priyanka Chopra , which was adorning my bedroom)

7.Lastly, when I explained to the local Kirana store Value Creator about 4P's, She muttered "Paavam , Nalla Payyanayirunnu , Enthu Patti Aavo" (The Young Boy was good , What happened in last two years?) to my aunt.

If you didn't make sense of half the things in ( I call it 7 Lessons of Max Shady Arbit Fundaes from an MBA ( Hail Covey) )Italics said out here , you have guessed it right . From being a MUMPS ( Mallu Under Management Process ) I have graduated to a seasoned MBA who can now claim core competency in judging B School competitions as well .