Tuesday, October 30, 2007

What to do with Telecallers ? - Sell Cows and Join the bank

Life is inundated with telecallers . Telecallers from airtel , hutch , BPL and banks have encroached into my life . On an average I get four calls every day . Each call causes a time wastage of three minutes . 1 minute to take the phone from my mobile wallet, 1 minute to realise that it is a telecaller and 1 minute to keep the phone back in the mobile wallet . 12 precious minutes in a day wasted on something that is futile. This means that I do waste 70+ hours in a year on attending telecalls I don't want to take. This figure is without taking into amount the time wasted on deleting SMSes send my mah mobile service provider , airtel.

There are some strategies on dealing with these calls . Join their organisation or sell them cows .

Strategy 1

Caller 1: Sir , Am I speaking to Mr:NC?

NC: Yes

Caller 1: Sir , this is on behalf of Citibank


Caller 1:We are having a good offer for you after analysing your credit history ?(What a plain lie ? . Why don't you tell me that it is to meet the sales targets of somebody?)

NC: Hmm , Actually I am not....

Caller 1: (without allowing to complete). It is a nice offer sir . this is a lifelong free card. Where are you working?

NC : I am the Senior Vice President of Citibank Credit Card Division in India.

Caller 1: WHAT???

NC: I look after the Credit Card Sales in India . How are you doing?

Caller 1 : THUD ! It was the sound of telephone getting back to receiver.

Strategy 2

Caller 2 : Sir , I am from this *********bank*********** .(Bank can be anywhere in the name).


Caller 2 : Our Credit Card is Blaaaaaah Blaaaaah... (in an infinite for loop)

NC: I have a cow to sell.

Caller 2 : Sir , Cow??

NC: Yes a Black jersey one ,You buy my cow , I will take your credit card.

I could hear a faint laugh and the usual THUD!

It seems that telecallers have understood my strategies and now the number of calls per day have increased to 12 . I think now I should start singing non stop Himesh Reshamiyya Songs to them.

God Save Them!


Attribution said...

SMSes at the most inconvenient of times, automated calls and what not, being inundated with all kinds of falthu calls at the most inopportune of times.

Nobody likes to be woken up in the middle of night due to an sms which wants you to download some stupid ringtone or hellotune.

Iam waiting after opting for (Do Not Disturb), coz it takes 45 long days for DND to start.
All this after trying numerous other options, telling them that I wasnt working, and that I dont need any credit(polite), and if it all I decided to take it tell me of some scheme/ "offer" where i dont have to repay it.
Hai kya koi scheme?

the rain tree said...

lol..nice one. i should really thanks u for d ideas...:P

hope and love said...

very true. in addition to wasting your time they spoil your mood too.

Jo said...


But sometimes I feel pity for them. Considering that they have to annoy others for a living.

Anonymous said...

Try indulekha.com/ for malayalam sites

Ajith said...

V/P idea seems interesting..Would try that out..Btw, I talk with them a bit if voice seems sweet enough ;)

Fighter Jet said...

true enough :)

..once i was emotionally blackmailed to but their credit card..the caller kept begging to not to cut the line..saying i would be her first customer..as non one listend to her and refused to talk :)

Umesh said...

The VP idea is good. Will try that next time. Btw i had a friend who, when bored calls the hutch customer care and flirts with the girls there. :-)

Tys on Ice said...

iam so going to use this..somehow i seem to hve become a cash cow for a lot of these monkey's with a card to sell...

The Lonely Backpacker said...

planning to use few of them...
can i get the copyright please ? :))

Amooma said...

hahaha!! lovely post. cant u try the don not disturb servioce?? have activated it and i have led such a peaceful life since.

Amooma said...

it doesnt take 45 days . mine got activated within 4 days or so. and i nevwer used to speak to a telecaller either. just cut it off. :D