Sunday, August 26, 2007

Onam Special - Kerala Congress Onathallu in Kerala

"Kerala Congress is a party that splits as it grows and grows as it splits" - No Wonder K M Mani once defined his own party in his own achayan terms and his own party members are making sure that the definition of their leader is correct.The Kerala Congress has suffered severe divisions and several parallel outfits have emerged through the years fitting or not fitting Mani's definition.

Kerala Congress (Mani)
Kerala Congress (Joseph)
Kerala Congress (Balakrishna Pillai)
Kerala Congress (Jacob)
Kerala Congress (Secular)

The splitting has not affected the growth of the party since the main vote bank of the party is the farming community in Kottayam, Idukki and some other districts of Kerala dominated by Christians and the votes are governed by individual loyalty rather than development agenda . The connections are so strong that most party leaders know each and every family head by his surname so typically there is a solid base for each faction in each constituency where Kerala Congress exists.

However if you are outside Kerala you are missing the great fun that these parties give every year during Onam.

Last Year Kerala Congress (Secular) sponsored the Onathallu and made sure that Kerala Congress (Joseph) resigned from the cabinet . They are promising a sequel this year may be due to the huge success last year and here are the main actors and other stakeholders in the traditional Kerala Congress Onathallu.

Kuruvila Getting Ready for Onathallu by tying his Mundu properly Courtsey :Manorama

Direction & Story Line
: P C George ,Kerala Congress (Secular)

Hero : T U Kuruvilla ,Kerala Congress (Joseph)

Supporting Actors : Son & Daughters of T U Kuruvilla ,Kerala Congress (Joseph) , Opposition Parties in Kerala , Other Kerala Congress factions may emerge for Thallu after Onam

Umpire : V S Achutanandan , Chief Minister - Kerala

Live Distribution Rights : Indiavision , Asianet News , Surya TV , Manorama News , Kairali TV and other channels in Kerala.

This show is only available if you are celebrating Onam in Kerala. If you are celebrating Onam outside Kerala , then you are missing the great fun.

The onathallu will restart after Onam.

Celebrate Onam and watch the rest of Onathallu.

Happy Onam , Everyone :)

May the good God bless you and fill your heart with joy & happiness. May the color and flowers of Onam fill your home with happiness and joy.

Please don't forget to see the rest of Onathallu.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Appakala & Putturumeese - Cool Dudes

I cut my hair .

There is nothing new in that .

There is a character played by Mammootty in the Malayalam film Suryamanasam who loves eating Puttu . If you have seen that film you wont forget his hairstyle .

There is a character played by Srinivasan in the Malayalam film Thenmavinkompathu called Appakala . If you have seen that film you wont forget his hairstyle.

I think both of them are having cool dude hairstyles . Ya , Appakala and Putturumeese are cool dudes.

Normal guys cut their hair at least once in two months and girls cut their hair at least once in fifteen days. If you don't know , this is how all those ladies beauty parlours survive. Now this was a barber shop in Bandra and I was really tired so I was thinking about such wise worldly matters and other things that were happening in other parts of the world like How CPM will topple the Union Government and how much would have Poor MM Singh slept last week . Generally I am sympathetic towards all the people who have been affected by various facets of communism because since childhood I have been getting regular lectures from my mother on why Communists are the biggest evil on earth ;) ?

There was a TV in the background , there was a towel around my body , the barber was wearing clean clothes. (He better be , the cost of a haircut in Mumbai is four times the cost of haircut in Chaganassey or Adimali where barbers wear Mundu or Lungi). The objective of my going for haircut was simple . Next week there are three marriages in pipeline in Kerala. According to me until a gal says yes and a guy says yes like this , there is peace and harmony all around .

The present state of my hair was in such a state that my mother will annihilate me from earth if I go with the hairstyle to Malluland.I will be subjected to constant volleys and torpedo's and nuclear bombs on how in good olden days nice Mallu Christian catholic Boys used to cut their hair at least once in six months when R Shankar (Who is He?) was the Chief Minister of Kerala. There is no point in telling that i am not nice and i am a pseudo Mallu . So since prevention is better than cure I decided to make myself neat and go to Malluland. But barber had other ideas and he implemented his ideas and that too on MY HEAD.

My decision to cut my hair off was due to a number of reasons.

# I love the texture, the feel, of very short hair on MY HEAD but not on teh head of opposite sex.
# I always had trouble with my hair because a parting in one of the sides indicate that I may become bald in future .It is better to see my head with identical and symmetrical baldness on both sides
# I like the feeling that I get when a zephyr strikes against my shaved head while riding my she bike.
# This wont make any impact on my long term career ;-D and personal life.
# As a stingy Mallu with stingiest traits , I save some money on haircut if I manage the shortness properly.

The only mistake I did was I asked him to cut it short and he watched some crappy Khan movie in the background and cut MY HAIR. The head was MINE, the hair was MINE but scissors were in the hands of the barber and he cut it real short. Short as in the hairstyle almost look like a Mammootty as Putturumeese in Suryamanasam or Srinivasan as Appakala in Tehnmavinkpmpathu.

As a matter of fact I believe that hairstyle is a personal matter and there is no right for anyone to interfere in my personal matters ;-D.If other people are having any problem seeing my bald head, it is their problem and not my problem ;-D.

I look like a goonda from an 80's Hindi film from Gorakhpur .Now if I give one of those goonda looks to the gals back in Kerala , they may run away with fear and I wont come back to Mumbai and end up in Edappally Police Lockup.

I went to office the other day and the suppressed laughs in the eyes of few of my colleagues said it all :). I escaped by saying that it is a cool dude cut . But what will I say my mother . She knows like me that Appakala and Putturumeese are not cool dudes .

Else I am going to die under constant volleys and torpedoes and nuclear bombs from Amma , Aunties and god knows who else is coming to attend some three marriages in Central Travancore.

Any Suggestions on how to avoid the torpedoes , volleys and bombs ;)? .

But whatever...think I will take all the torpedoes when it comes from my mother :)

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Thoda Thoda Friendly and Strange Seeds

Always I thought that people are like those seeds in the bible.

One day Jesus told a story and pointed to a farmer in the distance who was planting a field. Everyone looked at the farmer as he was working. Jesus began his parable:
There was once a farmer who went out sowing seeds all around. Some of the seeds fell along the edge of a well-traveled pathway that was worn down and hard. The seeds bounced around on the hard soil and were eaten by birds. Other seeds fell on rocky ground and sprouted quickly but because there were no roots or water, the sprouts withered and died. And some other seed fell among thorns and as they grew, the thorns twisted around them and choked the life out of them. Finally, some of the seeds fell into good deep soil and the seeds sprouted and grew up producing crops that were 100 times more than were sown.

People in my opinion are like seeds sown in the soil and most people fell into good deep soil and grow up producing crops that were 100 times more than were sown and does not realise how lucky they are.If you are one of those seeds who has fallen among thorns then you will find that it is always easy to connect to a fellow seed who also fell among the thorns and no wonder I could easily connect when I met him for the first time.

We were from similar backgrounds and we ended up as roommates .

Scene 1: Archana Complex,Inside NDTV Studio
"Abbe, I want to appear on TV , I have told my mother that I will come on TV" ,
I looked at him and wondered how he will appear in TV . There were people shouting for the attention of Barkha Dutt inside the NDTV Studio.
"Ok , If you sponsor my dinner from Karim's then you will appear" .
He looked at me "But What to ask?".
Me:Abbe Sale , You dont even know what to ask and still want to come in TV
Hmm , all of us came here to appear in TV is it. Why did you come?
Him:Me :I came to check whether Barkha Dutt is as intelligent as she looks on TV
Him:"Chup Saale , I will sponsor your Karim's Dinner. Tell me a way"
Me:"Ok the topic is on tiger conversation. So you ask anything in english with three tigers and four conservatons in between and put two forests too"
Him:"What" and gives me that look
Me: Abbe , Dont worry half of these people who answer the questions never listen to what is being asked , they just keep on repeatig what they say .Wait , You are going to get the question next.
I knew I had two seconds. There is a two second breask between the bell and the NDTV Music. Two seconds and pindrop silence
"Barkha , We have a question?" , I shout loudly. Half the audience turn towards me and Barkha Dutt gives me an intelligent stare reserved for pseudo intelligent people and says Shhhh.
Second question and she comes to me and I motion to him. Obviously she thinks that we are the grandsons of Maneka Gandhi. He mumbles something with seven tigers and three consevrations and five forests and Brakha Dutt glares at me. No point is looking back . Chicken at Kareems is better than the glare of Barkha Dutt.Anyway I got the dinner at Karim's.

Scene 2:Hostel Room ,Love Struck Friend

He is love struck after seeing a girl suggested by his family. Ek Dam Dil Se Pyar Ho Gaya. The girl seems to be qualifed enough to become his partner after my analysis and he appears serious. What to do ?. There is no point in giving flowers , sharing ice creams and other goodies .All that is oldfashioned and girls anyway know that this is a sales pitch that is not going to be honoured after marriage . Once a guy wins a girl everything is over and it is boredom again :( . See there is a strategy. "THIS IS A SECRET" . (Guys , Please excuse as I cant write it in a blog. Gals , Please excuse this can be told only to guys)

Scene 3: 100 Feet Road , Bangalore , Italian Restaurant.

I wanted to escape from Mumbai and Bangalore seemed to be the only solace and again I ended up with him . Discovered that he is staying at 80 Feet road along with Bhabhiji the same gal who has become his wife now . Couldnt help but smile at him and his wife and I can see that he is enjoying his married life . Chubby Cheeks and Tummy and other signs of prosperity were quite evident.He discussed with me so many things like the new LCD TV , the EMI that is rising everymonth ,The career options , the slary hike , how he showed his parents around Bangalore when they came from the village in North India and so on.We discussed about the choices in front of our generation.

My friend is a perfect example of our generation who is trying to enjoy the present and is not worried about the future.

Scene 4: Bangalore Airport.

I had been drinking all the afternoon with some friends after leaving him. Hardcore Bachelors party and I cant even standup after 6 hours of drinking , forget about walking. Somebody drops me at the airport and I just goes inside and somehow makes it to the boarding gate.Suddely the young person near me shouts in Malayalam

See , Our father may most probably die next year , so let us try selling off the property now

I thought I had heard it wrong or may be drinking was having an effect, but no he says it again the same thing in Central Kerala accent .

I felt sad . Sad about my generation who is living for the present , who have enough money to splurge on anything and everything that is needed and not needed.

I felt sorry for that generation who always lived for the future , who saved to bring up people like me and the young man who was shouting over the phone . The generation who may have lost out the best years of their life in the license raj era and did not have the choices available to me , my friend and the young man who was shouting over the phone about the death of his father.

They gave us roots and made sure we have wings to fly and take on anything . But ?.....:( .

The young man - Is he a strange seed who cannot be classified among seeds or have they become too common?

Now I am worried about the generation of screenagers who are growing up and how they are going to treat my generation . Human Values seem to be dying with each generation.