Monday, June 25, 2007

Weekend with Sivaji

Few interesting things happened this weekend

  • Discovered that my belt needs more holes soon , signs of a bulky me becoming slimmy me. Hail Non stop work and occassional visits to gym to see that all equipments still work and dumbbells weigh the same when I had teh last visit.

  • One of my house mates who was there with us for the last one month on vacation resigned his job in London and decided to stay with us in Mumbai. He seems to be inspired from that Hero Honda Ad about one guy rejecting an offer abroad.

  • My mother called me up and after wishing me lamented about the work she is doing alone at home and how certian people make good matches for cancerians . I think there is something fishy happening out there in Kerala other than the demolitions and strikes on Self Financing Colleges.

  • I cooked chicken with a friend to celebrate the occasion and was pleasently surprised to see the chicken that came out at the end was tasty , edible chicken which I finished eating too soon to my liking .

  • I went with the same friend to see Sivaji because I seem to be the only loser in the world who has not seen that movie. It is everywhere . - On TV , On Papers and even on internet and one of my old friends send me the pic below .

In case you dont know Malayalam this basiclaly translates into (World Wide Release tomorrow with Super Star and Super Director. Please call 094461 10540 if you are planning to shave your head and want to pour flowers when Rajni Annan appears on the screen) . Please call that number if you have an STD connection if you are outside Kerala.

  • Discovered that Rajnikant has acquired a new skill on rotating coins in the air in semi circles between his hands.The coins finally ended in his pocketjust like that odd cigaratee which ended in his mouth. Think these are the signs of audience getting matured because everyone is the theatre was shooting and howling when the coin was being rotated.It was an interesting experience to sleep in the middle of all those howlers and shouters.

  • Discovered that Mumbai sucks big time during rains.


In between all these last weekend I turned older by one more year according to my parents and few other people very close to me even though moi think I turned younger by one more year. The actual birthday is so different from official birthday.

Monday, June 11, 2007


I was almost fired today morning , exactly at 11:15 AM.

It all started with a bang . I was pestering my boss about doing some work that he was supposed to do some one week back and the HR lady walks in. She looks at me and at my boss and then asks me gravely .

"Can I talk to him for two minutes?"

Oh Yes , I walked out . Wondering what is so serious . I always loved secrets as long as it did not belong to me and belonged to others and secrets became even more interesting when others didn't want you to know about it because it evokes the detective or paparazzi in you . Usually I make sure that no stone is unturned in knowing the secret of others. Secretly I wanted to install a bug when any secret conversation is going on so that I will hear their talk in my mobile and unknown people will think that I am a guy who is listening attentively to his girl friend.

However this seemed different and after two minutes both of them stared at me and my boss looked at me gravely . My boss has a surprised and shocked expression on his face and HR lady didn't smile back when I smiled at her.

After some time the HR lady came to my cabin with a grim face.

NC , There is a small issue . CEO wants to speak to you. Can you please come with me?

Now , I am wondering what exactly is the problem she is referring to because I am in the middle of so many professional and personal problems.

We went the room of our CEO . My Boss was there with him .

I just looked around and there was lot of tension in the air . I could see a battle lying ahead from the body language of the people in the room.My Boss , looked at me gravely and the big man had as always a no nonsense expression.

I stared back at them innocently giving them one of my sweetest innocent faces.

He looked at me and said . " One of the female employees have complained against you"

What ?

Yes , One of our female employees complained against you and the compliant is serious this time . We were getting quite a lot of complaint against you.

I started thinking . I was always a decent guy who never engaged in any faltu - besharam activities but I have made sure that I was extra decent after I joined this company . I ha vent even taken any gal out on a date for the last three months after I changed my flirting policy . What is happening to this world ? How will poor guys like me survive ? Bachelors God , Are you seeing this!

Can it be X ? No way , She never knew that I had a crush on her . Can it be Y ? Nopez , I have always ignored her signals and smiles . Now It can be Z? Yes she was always snooping around whenever I was doing something in my system. It can be that external PR gal also who was nice to flirt with . But what about , that sales gal who was extra sweet to me last week and asked what will I be doing in the weekend.She could have complained because I evaded her question asking her about the sales targets. Hmm , but it can be Z also who invited me to her lunch group. It can even be the HR lady. I called her @$@##$ sometime when she didn't give me a certificate for a loan , may be she would have overheard it and is taking her revenge. It can be even Sudha , who can complain now that intentionally I called her as Soda.

I tried being very cheerful and even flashed one of my special faces at our HR lady who was standing near me . This smile has been a sure shot assured-smile-in-return-guarantee-trademarked until now from any girl born in this world . But nope! She still had that stone face that was there when she talked to my boss initially. Either she is someway related to Amrish Puri who never smiled in any of his movies or she is the Indian grand daughter of Sylvester Stallone who always had the same expression irrespective of all his roles whether he was Rocky or Rambo.

Oh yeah, Whatever . When is the next flight to Kerala ? I am going to start something on my own and is not going to recruit any females.

No way , they are slowly watching my expression and I am not giving away and there is something fishy out here . Suddenly the faces changed . My boss started grinning , the HR lady started laughing and CEO smiled.

NC , We are giving you ESOPS. You are a part of the employee stock option Plan from today . Please sign on this and give back to me

I looked back at them with the same look that Amrish Puri had in Chachi 420 when he realised Chachi was a man not a woman.

Hmmm, pretty nice way to say that you are a .00001% owner of a company.

Oopz! Now this is a nice feeling .