Nepotism is the
" showing of favoritism toward relatives based upon that relationship, rather than on an objective evaluation of ability or suitability."
This blog is/was on a break.
Sales - Give me what my customer asked for at our last meeting
Marketing -Let’s see what the marketplace wants
Legal - Give us something that wont throw all of us in jail
IT Department- There is only one answer to these requirements! SIMPLY CANNOT BE DONE
HR - All our new joinees run away when we mention the concept.
BPO Team - Nothing can get as moronic as this.
All Kameenaes are making my peaceful life chaotic.
To Quote one of my old B School Professors -"The gap between Expected state and Desired state was/is huge."
Whew, boy! This was/is a cool job , says Business Today
Memories get added and hope gets renewed every new year.
As long as we have memories ,
yesterday remains
As long as we have hope,
tomorrow awaits.
2007 has been good year .
Career , Gym, Stocks and New Friendships . How soon the life changes ?
This is going to be my last odyssey year and the decade of wandering around , experimenting with careers and falling in crushes and trying hand in everything that I could get my hands on is getting over with 2007.
Actually nothing much has changed from my Last New Year Post. But Still....I cant write a post like that now. NC has turned serious and heartless.
Wish You a Happy & Prosperous New Year!
There are lot of instances when people blame everything on fate. OSHO may be the only person who may agree with what I think about fate .I like Osho because he is the only person who went to a prostitute even before he was ten and he openly admitted it in his books.
Osho wrote in his book "Freedom".
You fail in love. You fail in other matters.It hurts that you have failed.You need some kind of oinment for your wounded heart."Fate" is a beautiful oinment and freely available. - OSHO
" Sir , you have won a one week holiday in Bali"
"What?? Where is Bali?"
"It is in INDONESIA"
"You can also opt for a holiday in Kandy , Goa or Kerala"
"Where is Kandy?"
"It is in Sri Lanka. Sir , you were one of the 50 selected out of 50000 people."
"Are you sure?"
"Sir , You have also won a Kitchen Set and a temporary membership in XYZ Club in Mumbai"
I bought a Saree.
I bought it from Seematti in Kochi.
I thought buying clothes were always easy till I entered Seematti Saree Sansar and saw all those ladies buying sarees.The shop is aptly named because all the ladies out there forgot the rest of the world and were thinking sari sansar was in the middle of sarees of all those vivid , bright and light colors in that shop.
I Know ! I can see guys twitching in your chair. Nothing Doing! Buying a Saree is such a difficult process . It is not like a jeans or T shirt. It was Onam and I was meeting my mother after six months so I decided to do something Special and took her to Seematti.My God! Pandora's Box of consumer behavior thrown open by all ladies in the shop.
Generally when I go with my friends to purchase something for them or me it is such an easy process.
If < You Like>
Then < Try and Purchase>
Else < Pick Another and finish it soon and do better things in life>
Everything done in 15 minutes flat.
While the purchase of a Saree seems to be a difficult process or phenomenon.I cant describe how difficult the process is because it is so difficult even to describe . It may take as much effort and time as sacking a minister from Kerala cabinet.It took so much time but since I am a good, understanding son and all, I kept mum and did not make any burps or suggestions and generally did not ogle at any other gals of my age group in the Shop. I didn't even tell her how impatiently my brother and father was looking at their watches after few hours.
Three of us looked at each other fifteen times and had three tea and coffee before the first "worthy for consideration" saree arrived.
"What do you think about this stuff?. It is rose silk." - She asked me after holding the saree with so much pyaar and care.
" I think it is very good , you look good in all sarees. Where is the cash counter?"
"Shudduup , All men have very bad taste. How will you buy a Saree for your wife?"
" I will take you with me " I grin.
She smiles ."But the color is bad. This is rose "
I cant differentiate between rose silk and rose milk . SO I didnt say anything
Then Madurapattu came , then Lucknowi@$#@ came , then banarasi @!#@!# came and finally after the salesman almost indicated that almost all the stuff of which some 20000+ sarees in Seematti were made of has finished , mom liked a stuff which was again rosesilk.Once the stuff was finalised then it was the color.
After going through almost all the Permutations and Combinations of Red , Green and Blue Possible , suddenly a saree popped up and Pleasant surprise. Three men of her life sagely offered our agreement to the choice. It was a combined decision of the family as they say :). Three people were happy at last the fourth person made a decision. The saree was absolutely drop dead, mindblowingly and aesthetically gorgeous, which is obviously a cue for her to say “Do you have more patterns of the same color with handy works?”.
The salesman almost jumped down from the third floor of Seematti and committed suicide when he heard that question. But good for him and good for us there was no other saree available with same color and handyworks and we were done.
I think this is a tremendous achievement because we had visited one shop, saw less than 40+sarees, and actually bought one after spending some hours. There was an uncle near me giving us helpless guy glances that only a guy will understand with his wife and two daughters and he was still in the middle of purchasing a saree when we started and when we finished. God save that Uncle.
P S: Ladies , Please dont comment for this post :) till you read this post
Always I thought that people are like those seeds in the bible.
One day Jesus told a story and pointed to a farmer in the distance who was planting a field. Everyone looked at the farmer as he was working. Jesus began his parable:
There was once a farmer who went out sowing seeds all around. Some of the seeds fell along the edge of a well-traveled pathway that was worn down and hard. The seeds bounced around on the hard soil and were eaten by birds. Other seeds fell on rocky ground and sprouted quickly but because there were no roots or water, the sprouts withered and died. And some other seed fell among thorns and as they grew, the thorns twisted around them and choked the life out of them. Finally, some of the seeds fell into good deep soil and the seeds sprouted and grew up producing crops that were 100 times more than were sown.
See , Our father may most probably die next year , so let us try selling off the property now
What is the most exciting thought in a bachelor's life?
Marriage.
What is the most frightening thought in a bachelor's life?
Answer of the first question.
Jo wrote in one of his posts . How True ?
Marriage seems to be the most important decision in life taken with the least amount of information and I have always fancied my chances of eloping with a girl after loving her for sometime if I don't get bored. But one of my second cousins who is a state award winning actress from Kerala eloped even before I could execute my plan and after seeing the plight her parents went through I have put the idea of eloping in cold freezer permanently.
Marriage to me always looked like this wonderful union which ushers in a beautiful life of companionship , sharing sorrows and celebrating life with somebody from opposite sex(Please note this) on one side while washing clothes , cleaning diapers , buying vegetables and endlessly boring shopping trips on other side . Now if I look at the friends and all the couples I know in this world (which comes to a sizable number) most of them seems to be leading a boring / interesting life oscillating between these two ends . There are boring experiences like this and things to look forward to like this.
Now if you tried to diagrammatically represent marriage in MBA style on how to select a partner it comes to something like this .
Copyrighted to : The Person who created this diagramme
When we work on cases in our bschools, there are multitudes of efficient diagrammes like these that we include in all our solutions. I have got lot of experience in the friend circle , Zone of Pain and awkardness . Traditional Marriages are like a straight line which starts with the Zone of Pain and jumps straight into marriage zone . Love Marriages progress vertically reaches the friend zone , then crosses into the dating zone and may end up in marriage potential . Whatever this diagramme does not guarantee on what will happen in Null Set which is essentially the married life.Most of the people who can identify where they are currently and where they want to go waste less time in any relationship.
This is a nice diagrammatic solution to depict all the problems faced at this stage of life and when you are in any relationship . Apparently the problem with this representation is that it does not offer any solution to the external parameters like the trouble due to snooping relatives who want to get you married at any cost. My peaceful voyage as a chronic bachelor who is writing this blog called nariyalchutney occasionally goes through all the commotions and storms when I encounter some relatives who start putting so much pressure on me to get married and these days it is becoming less because they have either started thinking that I am a gay(Please read what you noted earlier) or has already married some unknown girl secretly.
There is this aunt from Kattapana who came with this proposal and my mother described to me as if I am the biggest loser in the whole world If I don't accede to their request of seeing this girl who is a doctor from St:John's Medical College in Bangalore.My valid , non biased , intelligent argument that I wont be able to offer stability to the career of a doctor due to my highly mobile , highly pan Indian nature was firmly put into the trash can in the kitchen of our house in Kochi and I think my parents were testing waters. Now , they showed me a photo of the gal who almost looked like a criss cross between Sameera Reddy and Ayesha Takia. I have learnt from my previous experiences that looks , money , status and all other common parameters are only incidental and what matters is the wavelength of the two people involved in the relationship to ensure peace and white doves all around and ensure that you are not in the null set above teh marriage potential in the diagramme above.
For Eg: In marriage , the primary criteria is the father in law. In Short as I told my mother after repeated calls by her and wastage of a lot of STD money .
Who cares about the girl anyway? . I was more interested in speaking to prospective father in law.
On the first day of engineering some lecturer came inside and asked all of us what you want to do . I remember only two answers . One was mine and other was his . He said he wanted to clear civil services exam.
When so many guys wasted their time in engineering college listening to boring lectures and eyeing fairer sex , he devoted some of his time to read public administration and general studies after doing what others did.
He was one of those good guys who wanted to Change India. Finally after debating on so many things both of us wrote "Keen and Avid Watcher of Global and Indian Scenario" in our resumes for the placements.As Global and gyanny as it can get.He suggested me to do so .Both of us cleared the interview for the first big software company that came to our college and ended up in mundane jobs that didnt require any brains
When so many guys decided to work for those big software firms after engineering he decided to quit after eight months and go for Civil Services.
When I met him in Delhi after two years he had gone thin but his motivation to clear civil services had not reduced by an iota and in fact I felt it had increased by tantamount.
I could understand how difficult it was to clear civil services when I saw those long queues for registration of coaching classes in front of popular coaching centres in Delhi.
I could understand how difficult it was to clear civil services only when I met some of teh most brilliant people in Delhi University who had wasted their youth and their prime age chasing an IAS dream finally becoming researchers or politicians.
I felt very bad for him when he told me about all problems in his personal life and how somebody who was considered too close to him left him when he didnt qualify for civil services the second time . I was reminded of Estella in the Great Expectation of Charles Dickens who loved people only based on their position and money and who believed only in breaking hearts.
I hoped against hope that he will qualify for the interview because last time he had missed it by 10 marks .This year he was among those 1000+ who qualified for interview.
Final results and selection list came out yesterday and his phone was switched off . I was dispapointed . Not Again . I knew that this time it was a trial by fire for him this time.
There was a call today morning and I had been waiting for this call for the last four years from him . He is among those nine Keralites in Top 100 this year in Civil Services.
Finally your hardwork and dedication has paid off dude . Way to GO!
Congrats :).
I think I would have been in III standard and around 10 years old and my brother would have been around 6 years in KG .I'd kneel before the picture of Christ before each exam and pray to god to process the application for letting me pass the exam and my brother would join me in exerting more pressure on the application . Moi always had an unknown fear about exams even though I never missed an A grade through out in school.Now college and post graduation is a different matter all together as you all who went to college will know.Simply , no one go there to study . You had laready done that is school, why waste time ?
We'd pray, sing a song in our sweet little voices and the benevolent Christ looked down at us amusingly from up there. Obviously I liked to imagine he was benevolent because he was supposed to give me more marks in the exam. My parents had such a hearty laugh when they came back from shopping , though I wonder whether they remember it now and I can't even think of both of us singing for anything together these days . My God! What a spectacle it is going to be :P , so much of noise pollution :).
:) Happy days, those were...
Inspired by :
These days things that I do include negotiating with people who speak in a language like this
李彦宏当选商业周刊2006年“最佳商业领袖”
百度中国搜索引擎入选中国十大创新软件产品
百度签约信产部CSIP 跨入开源软件商业应用
百度征文第三季开锣 联想、IPod 大奖装备“搜索超人”
跻身“十年新锐” ，百度影响力迅速蹿升
百度携手微笑图书室，为甘肃藏区贫困小学捐献图书
and planning to ask Himesh Reshamiyya what is under his cap when I am meeting him on a TV show.
:( Sad days, these are..
Missing those happy days and those little stupidities :P
"Sir , We need an address proof to open the account . Do you have a passport?"
She called me sir and then gave me a nice cute smile at the end of the question .I wanted to flirt with her but decided not to because I recently changed my flirting policy after a lecture from my mother ..but temptations... you know...Christ. Save me.
"Yes I have . here is it "- She browses through the last page.
"Sir , this wont do .The address is of Delhi. Do you have a driving license?"
"Yes I have that too. here is it "- She looks at it and frowns.
"Sir , this wont do the address is of Chennai. Do you have a voters ID card?"
"Yupz "- She looks at what is written suspiciously.
"Sir , Is this Malayalam?. The address is of Ernakulam."
I stare at her sheepishly and nods my head.
"Sir , you have anything else ? Ration Card , Electricity Bill,Telephone Bill ..". She again gave me a nice smile.
"Nothing , Recently I moved to Mumbai " I didnt reciprocate the smile. All these smiles in fact implies that I am a potential client that will help her to achieve her sales targets.{I am glad that I never had those things since I would have lost some time with her and some cute smiles}
"Sir , In that case you will be having a rental agreement?"
"No , I have attached myself with my friends. My name is not in the agreement"
Oze(Freerider ) , I was too lazy to explore for new apartments in Mumbai and attached to one of my friends.
"Sir , In that case come with the bank statement of your salary account after one month. I will take special care about opening an account for you in this branch and here is my number in case you need any help."She sounded too aplogetic.
"Ok Thanks but I don't need the number , I will come after one month." (There was too much tempation to take the number but blame it on the new flirting policy)
I could find Mallus , Chinese food & cockroaches in each city
There was a hospital , bar and a church close to my place.Every Weekend I drank at bar and went to church on Sunday and sometimes got treated by Mallu nurses in the hospital.
There was at least an Andhra Mess / Ududpi Restaurant or Mallu food joint close to my place.
I used a KL registration vehicle in all the cities where I stayed more than one month and my motorcycle holds the credit for being the first Mallu motorcycle to roam India . It has been to three metros in India along with me.
I was not a happy man when I boarded the train. Even the plush comfort of the air-conditioned compartment of the Mangala Express could not cool my frayed nerves. I was a student and still not had the means to air travel on those days because Air Deccan was still not covering Kerala. It was not the comfort that I sought,I had tried to reason with the parents, it was the savings in time but I knew we couldnt afford the hefty charges from Kerala to Delhi whatever be the savings in time. In Delhi I had so many things to do and spending three days inside a comfortable train cabin somehow seemed total waste of time. Whatever, I opened my suit case and took out the laptop, determined to put the three days in train to some good use.
" Are you going to Delhi? ," the man beside me was staring appreciatively at the laptop.
After glancing briefly at him and realising that he is a first time traveller to Delhi, I mumbled in affirmation, handling the laptop now with exaggerated care and importance as if it were an expensive car to show off.
"Today everything is getting computerized.", He remarked.
I smiled and turned around to give the man a look , of course any body in post liberalisation generation can take some credit for the IT revolution which changed India and it was a pleasure to take that minor share which was coming into my platter.
The man was short and plump. He looked simple and strangely out of place in that little lap of luxury in an AC compartment with his white Mundu and shirt among army men , nurses and families . Most probably he is going to Delhi for his business requirements , I thought.
"The train is reaching Thrissur station" the man continued, " Would you like to share a cigaratte?"
I smiled deprecatingly and knew he was trying to engage in a conversation with me till Delhi as both of us seemed to be the only people who were not in groups. For a moment, I was tempted to explain how cigaratee companies are making revenues through people like him who smoked umpteen cigarettes a day but restrained myself to a single statement.
"Thanks , but I don't smoke."
" I assumed so. What about a tea? "came the reply.
A hint of belligerence and banter came into his so far affable, persuasive tone when I tried to keep away from him.
No point .I closed the laptop.
Somehow the three days are going to be wasted in this train drinking tea and coffee with him .
Over a tea I learnt that he is from Southern Kerala and is going to Delhi for something related to a case in Supreme Court.He told me about his sons , wife and mother . Sometimes I wonder how easily I am able to extract information out of strangers I meet
The train had already started by the time we finished tea and a very old lady came in between us.
I welcomed her as an escape from the man and thought about opening my laptop again.
"Mone" . It was the turn of the old lady now. I hate when people call me mone because it is a sign of people treating me as a kid for my boyish charm.
"Yes" , I tried to put on the look of a pseudo intellectual.
"Would you like to have some banana chips? . I made it specially for my grandson in Delhi."
Again she was trying to engage in a conversation but I didnt mind , since she looked like my grandmother.
"Thanks. How old is your grandson?".
"He will turn eleven next September" , She said
How come people wait for children to turn old when they are young ?
What is her motivation in sharing something with me that was specially made for a eleven year old kid?
I wondered and I didn't bother because the chips seemed very tasty.My mother has adviced me a thousand times about the need to keep away from strangers and I never accept anything from strangers but the old lady seemed too innocent to con me. I took two or three chips from her just for the sake of it.
"Would you like to have some?" , I asked the man and the old lady offered some chips to him.
" Ammachi ,The Taste is good " , The man said.
We became like a family since three of us were the only people who were not in any group or family in the compartment . I never got a chance to open the laptop again in my trip. We talked about each other and I learnt that old lady is going to visit her son in Delhi who was working in the Foreign Affairs ministry.She was very proud of her grandchildren whom she claimed were very smart.I found the old lady more interesting than man because she always gave the the banana chips and tasty achappams and so many snacks whenever I spoke with her and agreed to the fact that all her grandchildren were among the smartest kids in the world.
The man just listened to us and did not utter a word . He appeared tense and lost in his own world. Occasionally he asked me and the old lady when the train stopped in various stations whether we needed tea or food and three of us ate from the same vendor. The train proceeded through Mangalore , Konkan , Bombay and into Uttar Pradesh taking all of us in its womb.Somehow I always liked talking and making friends with people in my train journeys to Delhi and so many of them call once in a while.This journey and conversation was a welcome change from the usual banter of Army officers about their gallantry and from those flirty young nurses who worked in North Indian towns.
The train reached Hazrat Nizamuddin on the third day and thanks to a train derailment somewhere between Agra and Mathura ,it was almost midnight when the train reached the station .
The old lady was so sad to leave me and the man.She gave her phone number in Delhi and in Thrissur and invited me and the man home . I promised to visit her next time I am in Thrissur visiting my relatives and joked with her that she should share teh recipe with my mother.We handed her over to her son and smart grandchildren and then just two of us were left.
Me and the man. Just like it was in the beginning of the journey.
"So where do you want to go ?", I asked him.
"I want to go to a place where I can stay for tonight. I have to go to the court tomorrow and the return train is on day after tomorrow morning if possible" , He said.
"If Possible?" , That caught my attention
"Don't you have a reservation back , else it will be very tough?"
"Yes , I have"
Why did he add if possible, I wondered secretly.
I was going to Delhi University and thought that I can drop him in Pahadganj since he was not familiar with Delhi.
Mallu Mallu bond, my northie friends called my tendency to help other people from Kerala .
I dropped him at Pahadganj and explained to him the way to go to Supreme Court.
"Why dont you stay with me and go back tomorrow morning?", He asked
"Nopez, Got to go tomorrow for an early morning lecture" , I lied because i didn't want to stay with a stranger.
"All the Best for your case tomorrow" , I wished him when I was leaving
Suddenly he cringed and tension on his face was palpable.
I was thinking about his court case and that expression when I was returning from his hotel room.
Next day , I forgot about him and the expression . I was busy focusing on the things that needed my attention when I was away.
The call came in the evening.
The call came in the evening from the same man I met in the train.
He was screaming over the phone , totally exhilarated , " We won the case "
I couldn't actually place how it was We and not I. "Congratulations , Now you are happy is it"
"Certainly " , He said . " I want to return to Kerala tomorrow and would like to meet you over a drink".
"See , I am really busy"
"No , No . I have to meet you before I go . You were my good luck charm "
I knew he was buttering me , " See , I am really very busy"
One of my North Indian friends asked . " What is the guy saying about drink? I can hear him shouting over the phone about the drink"
"Nothing , Yaar . Some shady guy I met in the train". I lied about it eventhough he told we won the case.
"I did my TCS training in Trivandrum , Don't lie" . He said "I heard him shouting over the phone and inviting you for a drink , Lets go. It is Free yaar"
Whoever said FREE is the most attractive four letter word with any offer should be the most intelligent person in the universe , I thought
"Ok , where?" , I asked the man
"Come to my hotel room" , He said.
We went in my friends car and the man was different . No tension , no pain . Happiness roseated from his face and he was talking animatedly to his wife and sons when we entered his room.
We went to a swanky bar and people stared at him because he was still wearing the Mundu and a Blue Shirt. Me and my friend didn't care about those glances that we received occasionally from other tables.
We settled down ordered some drinks and started the usual banter.After two three rounds I told him.
"You were really tense yesterday . So , what was this case about?"
"Nothig much , a small issue "
"May be some business problem , It happens you know"
"It was a business problem , but was a criminal offence"
"Criminal offence?"
"Ya , I killed two people"
"What?"
" I killed two people and Supreme Court is a !#$@$#$@#$. The verdict was that I was innocent. I thought I would be hanged and wont be bale to return back to my family in Kerala"
The vodka in my head evaporated . I looked more closely to see whether he is still there and whether I was dreaming.I looked at my friend who was only concentarting on his drinks.I was not sure what he meant when he said 'Supreme Court is a !#$@$#$@#$' whether it symbolised deep regret in killing two people or happiness in being acquitted.
"Excuse me .Are we having this Vodka for killing two people? "
He just stared at me without answering and replied .
" I invited you for a drink because you didnt ask anything about me in the train and talked to me like a brother. I was tired of all those accusing glances and tears of my children who were constantly harassed by people in our town for being the sons of a murderer".
I was meeting a murderer for the first time in my life and I always had this stereotypical image about a mudrerer who killed other people being nasty , eccentric and abnormal.This guy appeared normal anyway .I wanted to keep away from the person who had murdered two people whatever be the reason.
He started with the story on how he started a factory in his village with what he got from his parents and how union leaders harassed him . He had to resort to gun fire when an angry mob attacked him and he killed two of his own workers.
The story started falling into place. I remembered reading about it in Malayala Manorama.I didnt know whether to blame him or empathise with him when heard the whole story.
He defended himself saying about the huge loans he had to incur to start the factory , about his family- the wife , mother and two kids- who depended only on him and how he helped the families of workers after the factory was reopened.Whatever , I could not take any drinks after that and the entire Vodka in my head and my friend's head (after I explained to him) evaporated into thin air.
We fled from there with in fifteen minutes and left him in his hotel room and drove back to University in silence.
It didnt end there .
He used to call me often for next six months and then slowly the calls decreased as his business picked up.
Once I had to visit the town where his factory was .Moore and his laws always tried to play with me and I ran into him of all the people in that town . We went to his house . His wife made me tapioca and fish curry and I played with his children . He took me to his factory and showed all around and introduced me to some workers saying I was a distant relation.He used to call me , to discuss his family matters till I changed my old number.
Whenever I pass in front of Supreme Court in Delhi , I think about that man , the journey , that old lady and his statement Supreme Court is a "@#$@#$#%$%#" and often wonder how he is doing these days.
Hopefully you are doing fine , my friend.
Why do killers kill? - Thought about him after reading this.
There was a Red Rose and there was a Red lotus. Rose and Lotus lived in two ponds and lot of flowers came to visit them often through a common path.Rose and Lotus were good friends .
One day an extremely red and beautiful petal that came in lotus was appreciated by 21 flowers.Rose also had a more beautiful red petal that was apreciated by 64 flowers including Lotus sometime back.Rose on seeing the petal in lotus thought that Lotus had crushed and used the more beautiful red petal from rose to make the new lotus petal.Rose forgot that Lotus had never failed in acknowledging a good work or petal and that is how the friendship with Rose started.
Lotus remembered seeing the rose petal after rose alleged that lotus had crushed and used her petals to give more red colour to lotus petals but apparently there is only one question that is asked during a Syrian Christian marriage in the nupital ceremony and lotus knows that his conscience is clear. Lotus had stopped intentional copying in Clas III way back in 1988 when he was caught red handed by Mathematics Teacher for copying a maths answer and was given two proper smacks.Lotus also knows that petals are all about honesty and making friends and there is no point in stealing a petal from rose because other flowers that visit both of them will identify the rose petal very soon and it will be an extremely foolish action.None of the other flowers also realised that Rose had a similar petal sometime back and Rose is also cross with them as in naaraaz hein.
Lotus also does not blame rose for what she says , since he does not have any proof.Lotus had always viewed all petals as an escape from the monotonus work and have never felt the need to steal or crush any petals that belong to rose or anyone else without acknowledgement.Lotus thinks that lotus petals are as beautiful as other lotus petals and rose petals are as beautiful as other rose petals making a rose as beautiful as a rose and a lotus as beautiful as a lotus.Nobody can say a red lotus is more beautiful than red rose or red rose is more beautiful than a red lotus.
Hope rose will understand.
It has been a long time since I cribbed about me :P and some mails in my mailbox claim that they know me before I was born.Saw this tag and picked it up then and there.
Here is Nariyal Chutney Unplugged - I , Me , Myself
1.Yourself: It comes in two parts 1- Happily Single, Extremely straight, Syrian Roman Catholic , Cancerian and a Keralite 25 year old. This part was sponsered by Jeevansathi.com and Shaadi.com . 2- Totally Screwed up {Fraud} Mallu , Duffer , Living Disaster,Lazy Ass ,Pseudo intellectually disabled Specimen.This part was sponsered by Nariyal Chutney
2. Your girlfriend/spouse: Nopz ; I am Happily Single .
3. Your hair: Short , Wavy , Black.
4. Your mother: Mom,Sweety. She calls me up or I call her up every night.My father and me are more worried about Airtel making more money at the expense of our family!!
5. Your father: The only guy in this world who knows and remembers the names of all girls I had a crush on and the total budget .Each time he remarks that I have made him land in a hot soup pan and aesthetic standards in our family are decreasing with each generation.
6. Your favorite item: My Nokia N Series Phone!! . This part was sponsered by a Nokia N 71.
7. Your dream last night: of a Majestic Elephant bathing in Kerala and me walking through a paddy field to watch it.
This snap is from Flickr Best of 2006 collection
8. Your favorite drink: Smirnoff (Shaken but not stirred). This part was sponsered by James Bond.
9. Your dream car: My First Car bought with our money.
10. The room you are in: A second floor flat in a North Indian town with TV in full volume .
11. Your ex: No Comments. I believe in the quote of Lord Alfred Tennyson that It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved someone at all.There is always a scope for improvement when you know how precious getting or giving true love is. Herman Hesse once said If I know what love is, it is because of you. Herman Hesse seems to be more intelligent than me since he realised this before me.(This was sponsered by www.dontbreakup.com)
12. Your fear: Nothing . I am a confident young guy who likes doing whatever which can make my heart beat faster and blood hotter.
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Younger.
14. Who you hung out with last night(Saturday) ? No Comments. But I was not with a girl.
15. What you're not?.Typical Mallu Guy.
16. Muffins: The Best Thing that you get from bakeries in Mussorie.Never miss a chnace to eat muffins or for that matter any item from Mussoorie bakeries.
17. One of your wish list items: Meeting with the CEO of a well known company who want me to join his firm as early as possible after two VPs who interviewed me gave good report . ( About a duffer like me ...Arrrghh).This is according to the HR lady and a consultant who had been after my life for last three months.
18. Time: Sleeping is a waste of time.
19. The last thing you did: Wished one of my umpteen friends who is getting married this weekend a very blissful and contended married life after his treat. God save the girl :). In this whole marriage process that is happening left , right and centre Airtel seems to be the biggest loser. They Should concentrate on keeping people away from each other.
20. What are you wearing? Denim Jeans and Black T Shirt
21. Your favorite weather: Winter in Summer and Summer in Winter
22. Your favorite book: Anything that is fit to read . I am a voracious reader , you will come across quotations once in a while in all my posts.
23. The last thing you ate: Idli and Nariyal Chutney.
24. Your life: I always wish it was non linear like the books of Gabriel Garcia Marques and movies like Babel with old age coming first and childhood last or there was a technology that would make you stand at three four places at the same time { For instance , in my case in Kerala and North India}
25. Your mood: Relieved because somebody whom I hurt has forgiven me and she just underlined my assumption that I have a tendency to screw up things.
26. Your best friend: SJ & JJ in Bangalore , SM in Mumbai ,RV in Delhi , DRR in Kolkata , SAR in Thiruvanthapuram(This is a long list, that I really care about). It is a pan Indian network which contact me once in a week and contributes more money to Airtel. (God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.)
27. What are you thinking about right now? How I am missing the mosquitoes in Kochi at night.
28. Your car: I am happy with my KL - 7 bike but also love the KL -7 car in Kochi owned by my father.
29. What are you doing at the moment? :Answering this question.
30. Your summer: Something that makes me yearn for Winter if it is weather and what gave me a Pre Placement Offer when I was in B School.
31. Your relationship status: Happily Single
32. What is on your TV? CNN IBN discussing why Omkara would have been a better choice in Oscars than Rang De Basanti.(Duffers they are discussing this after RDB has been chucked out of Oscar race wish they had discussed this instead)
33. What is the weather like? Cold and foggy outside but hot under my blanket.
34. When is the last time you laughed? Today when I just met this guy , Philips Joseph who is working in Videocon who told me about this incident.
Customer:My TV is not working
My Friend: Hi , This is Philips from Videocon. I will help you
Customer:I have called Philips or Videocon , Sorry. Cut
If you are from Videocon , Please chuck out all Philips in your roll for lousy customer service , else ask them to change the name :). Change the name Philips Joseph to Plippy Joseph :)
35. When is the last time you shouted at somebody? I can't quarrel or shout with anyone . Just hate doing it . I have my own sweet ways of cooling anyone who comes with a quarrel / Shout needed in fluorescent written all over the face :)
Tag!!! Any one who wants to crib / yearn about themselves.ATB :)
Just a personal note here but I couldn't resist. Happy Birthday Mom & Dad . Wish I could be with you when you receive the flowers that has been send through Phoolwala .Thanks You for the two lasting bequests you gave both of us - roots and the wings.
Actually I feel it is pretty nice that they were born in the same month ten days apart not because I could send them one nice bunch of flowers , but since they retired together on the same day giving each other company.
P S: A part of this post is inspired by five ice creams bought by my father and mother at various points of life when I wanted to marry five girls whom I met at various points of life even before I completed one dozen years in this big bad earth.
I was talking to one of my North Indian friends about Mallu land. So many people assume things that I discuss are of low standards by any benchmarks . Since none of you havent met me and possibly wont meet me you can consider I have a decent intellectual ability and exhibit all the required common sense traits. Kerala or rather Keral for him stands for Ayurveda and Backwaters though he doesnt know what a backwater is .After a discussion like this , When you are far away from a place where you have lived for last twenty years , memories come back to haunt you - Of what you did , what you had experienced , some memories really enjoyable , some memories really nostalgic but slightly painful .These are the reminiscences of a Mallu on a cold chilly Delhi night about some sweet memories in Kerala.This is not about Kathakali or Kalatippayattu but somethings every Mallu may love to experience if they have ever experienced it while in Malluland.
Thattukada 
Thattukadas in Vyttila , Edappally , Palarivattom (Rappais Fast Food & Chicken Dosa) and MLA hostel near Thiruvananthapuram.There is something strongly Malayalish about this sight of tea being poured from one glass which is held high above the other glass. I just love this and whenever i am in any Thattukada watches and just admire the adroitness of the guy who is doing this . So when I was naming the blog , nothing came into the mind other than this Malluness in Thattukada . Tired of explaining to people what Thattukada is , I hope they will understand from now on.
Appam
Hot Appams served after the Sunday masses by Amma with Chicken Curry straight from that black 'Chatti' that have been serving my family for last twenty five years (since I can remember).
Houseboat
Boathouses that were proliferating in Alleppy on my last holiday over there.Couldnt get into any of these then . After retirement buying a boathouse and taking a nap staring into the full moon listening to the wavy music of the backwaters seems to be a distant but possible dream now.
Boatraces
Boatraces that I used to watch once in a while .Once I remember a guy before me being pushed to water while watching a grand boat race organised to welcome Prime Minister in Ernakulam Marine drive.
Fishermen going to Sea
Fishermen in Calicut , Vizhinjam and Fort Kochi. Somehow I have been to all these places due to the 'transferical' nature of my parents job.It reminds me of the family outings that we used to have in weekends to beaches.
Karimeen
Tasty Karimeen Roast that I have eaten from umpteen hotels.Nothing Beats it . Especially if it comes after being cooked by mom in home.
Walking in Paddy Fields
Walking in the paddy fields behind my Dads house in Vaikom.It is just amazing , you know miles and miles of green grass and you feel like as if you are being absorbed into the green surroundings.
Onasadhya
Onasadhya , served in leaf and eaten with my family .The sight of the leaf filled with avial in one side and pazham in the other side is something every year me eagerly wait for . After all it comes only once in a year.
Kallushappu
But above all , the thing shown above ( thatsy it is a large snap ). The tasty dishes in Chalechira , Neriamangalam and Cherppungal Kallushapps. Please note here that I have note written about the drink and the shap owner in Chalechira is a Communist . Did you se the CITU poster in the above pic ? .But the fish fry there is pretty good :).
I think ,it is time to go back and savour some of these. There is this problem with all the people who want to go back to Kerala including me . The only other solution is starting your own company in coimbatore or Tirupur since UDF and LDF takes pride in not permitting to start any company in Kerala .
Whatever , when you realise that you are far away from all those memories and it may not be possible to go back where you enjoyed staying the most it becomes slightly unenjoyable after writing this . Lucky are though who are savoring all these in Kerala.
Added later
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Found lot of people searching for Kerala and Tourism lands on this page . Read this , if you are planning to visit Kerala . My two paisa for increaing the revenue of Kerala Tourism
She and He met for the first time in an engineering College in Kerala.{(Oopz , Sorry I am not He and my Ex or Futura is not She). This is one story for all those He's and She's who have consulted me at various stages of their relationships}.He felt weak in his knees after seeing She and She could understand that he is feeling weak in his knees. She wanted to tell He that She loved He but like all those feminist girls waited for some months so that He could run around the trees , could give her enough hints and could at last ask She out for a date .
The date went fine and when He saw She yawning three times (He Counted) , they called it a day on the first date . They again dated and went on and on and on till the engineering College which was in Kottayam heard four christmas bells from various catholic ,marthoma and jacobite churches surrounding it.You can visualise me washing my hands with water , at this stage of relationship since I studied in Kochi.
He wanted to marry She after engineering and vice versa {Every Action has an Equal and Opposite Reaction , Some Isac had told once}. Now He and She follow different religions. There were innumerable roadblocks in the form of parents , relatives and other villians on the way but since all of you have seen the same roadblocks in umpteen Bollywood , Kollywood , Mollywood and Sandalwood movies , I am not elaborating. After marriage She went to live with He and in laws. Shortly after that He and She shifted to Bangalore and He started working for Infosys like so many He's in our generation.The big MBA bug bit both She and He after two years and they eventually got admission in two of the best B Schools in this country five years after their marriage.
As all of us know MBA is the place where you learn jackshit in forms like SWOT , BCG , Portfolio and umpteen other arbit and shady fundaes before you get a good placement. She got into the best FMCG in this country and he got into the IT company which paid the highest inhand in 2006 placements.
He started working in Delhi , then went to Mumbai and then to Bangalore on various assignments. Now He and She are in soup (Hot and Sour Chicken ) since She is three months pregnant . Last week, He lands up at She's place and none of He's tricks worked to appease her. Too much water has flown under the bridge since they met in the engineering college and She had burnt her bridges (apologies for the corny clichés).
A sad He came to NariyalChutney for suggestion and the problems were discussed over three bottles of Smirnoff Vodka in a posh Delhi Pub .Five minutes back He went to the cabin of VP-HR to handover his resignation . He Quit and is going to Mumbai to join another job with a 50% pay rise (Courtsey Nariyal Chutney) . She is happy and NariyalChutney is also happy for both He and She and the little one.Happy New Year He , She and the Little one and to you too dear reader :P.May god bless you all with a prosperous new year ahead.
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